Tuesday, March 01, 2011

GTL - Do It My Way!

GTL BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep! I'm into it!
Okay, so Jersey Shore has taught us all about "GTL" - The famous acronym for "Gym, Tan, Laundry". These Guidos and Guidettes definitely have their priorities right but I have taken their lifestyle/routine to another level.
Let me give you some advice on doing GTL my way!!

Gym!

I swear I'm wearing shorts.
Obviously go. But let me give you some advice that I hope people who workout the same place as I do pick up. Smelly people in the gym smell disgusting. I don't care how jacked you are, its never hot. Sweat obviously smells like sweat but here are some little tips that keep you smelling semi-attractive in the gym, for yourself, and for those around you (including me- amen!)

So I have come across a few 'Cologne Cockroaches*' and 'Perfume Pigs*' (*New words for the Stephathaurus) in the gym. These are the named that I call people who try and cover up their sweat smell with perfume and cologne (not only in the gym, but everywhere). I think that's equally as disgusting as powder shampoo. You'd think it was considerate for people to douse themselves in something that smells good in order to cover up their body odor but it never works that way - what you end up smelling is a nasty mixture of sweet and sour. Not to mention people have allergies etc and it's inconsiderate to others to stink up the whole gym with your chosen scent.

Shower before you go to the gym AND after. No it's not weird at all. Do it. Please. It's not a waste of time because you're 'just going to get sweaty', it's hygienic, and I'm OCD like that so let's start a trend here.

Female Scents
So this brings me to introduce you to my 'matching body wash then lotion trick'. I have 3 favorite scents from Bath and Body Works. "Twilight Woods, Sensual Amber, and Black Amethyst" and for men I like from their signature collection "Oak", and "Ocean". Especially the "Oak" one yummy...!
Mens Scents

SAVE MONEY! The cool thing about Bath and Body Works is it's usually buy 3 get 2 free, or buy 2 get 1 free with the lotions, body washes, bath gels etc. Save that extra money for a boob job, or makeup, or weight lifting gloves, or a puppy...or whatever! You get it!


Matching Body Wash then Lotion Trick
Step 1: Shower with one of the body washes I recommended above - or find your own favorite scent from Bath and Body Works.
Step 2: After you shower lotion up with the matching scented lotion concentrating on the knees and elbows. THIS WAY WHEN YOU SWEAT YOUR BODY SECRETS THE LOTION from your skin leaving a very fresh yummy smell around you. I have been complimented at the gym by other gymers, and the canteen girl for doing just this. Applying lotion will also help you keep your tan in check!! (Side note: If you like to dance at the club, you can always do the lotion trick with scented lotion or perfume on your knees and elbows too - this way when you dance, you spread your lovely scent all around you - how sexual!)

Tan

Mwah!
So the Jersey Shore guys have this in totally the right order. Go tanning AFTER the gym! Not only will you save everyone in the gym from smelling that gross burnt skin smell as you sweat it out in the Testosterone Zone, BUT you will actually get a BETTER tan. Let me tell you why! So, have you ever heard of tanning lotion with 'tingle' in it? Well a tingle lotion has elevated concentrations of certain natural vitamins and botanical oils that stimulate the circulation of blood in your skin which forces the melanin to the surface which helps enhance your tan! What does this have to do with the gym? Well when you are finished at the gym, your circulation is already in proper motion therefore - no need for tingle, it's already happening naturally which results in GYM+TAN=better tanning results! Genius isn't it? Yes, I'm Smart Tan Certified (yes, that's a real thing...)

..and last but definitely not least....
Laundry!

CLEAN GYM CLOTHES. This is all part of your gym hygiene. I know everyone has that 1 pair of 'Lulu Lemons' that fit your butt the best and you just don't want to rock any other pair to the gym. Fine! After you go to the Gym, Tan, throw those workout clothes in the Laundry. Use fabric softener and dryer sheets! Keep everything fresh and clean!  Stay away from bacterial infections and all sorts of other nasty issues you can get from re-wearing gym clothes. Smell yummy, and train hard!


Hope you guys keep this stuff in mind - see you (smell you) at the gym!!